Ecce Homo

5.4″ x 8.5″ . Watercolor with Dr. Ph. Martin’s bleed-proof white . 2022

This is a prelude to the big “dog whistle” painting that’s taking a while to complete.

2022 has gifted me with the worst case of tinnitus ever. It feels like a gin tonic is bubbling inside my skull along with the sound! Woohoo! Good thing I’ve gotten so used to it that it already feels like something’s wrong when it’s not there. Yes it wakes me up at night, but it also reminds me that I’m still alive. Consider this a proverbial “bone” for a larger puzzle.

I used to look at this finished painting, go ‘yuck’, affirm the lost cause and shoved it back in the drawer. Recalling what it “was” made me want to dig it up and show the world how sometimes all your best intentions and hard work turn to shit anyway. 

Come November 2022, to my shock, I couldn’t find anything wrong with it anymore. THE HORROR! THE HORROR! That’s from my favorite book btw! There must be something really wrong with me now! Or maybe there WAS something wrong with the me then? Who knows! 

Now all that’s left is potential. Sure, some minor retouches were needed here and there, and it would be totally wabi-sabi! Perfectly imperfect! After the dude in the middle was repainted, I am basking in this whole black metal / esoteric vibe that’s going on. All sorts of Occult! Yeah!

The greatest thing about being in my 40s is how all the braincells I don’t need any more are finally dying, so there’s a lot more energy for the things that matter. Like with this painting, all these dead ends are coming under a new light and are becoming possibilities. And what of failure? We win, we lose, we still die. This painting would have been stuck “in the closet” forever, unless I was willing to murder my old beliefs. And suddenly I have a new offering to gladly present to the universe.

Now that it’s been improved, I like how this work is a combination of the past and the present. In a way it’s like I rode a Time Machine back to 2019 and told my past self to prepare for the Big Bang on the way… Let’s see, back then it was all about bugs, eyeballs and muscles! Can’t help but think about the Darkthrone song, “Eyes Burst at Dawn”….So far…Yup! But, so good!

 “Ecce Homo”? 

It means “Behold the Man”. I don’t care about all this gender inclusive, politically correct blablabla. People in the Philippines are eating re-heated garbage to survive and that’s all people are worrying about nowadays? Fuck off! The HU-MAN. The fucking universe that is in each individual’s mind churning and burning in its perpetual quest for meaning. And yet there’s still a tribe in Madagascar with no concept of the great beyond, as long as there’s meat. Behold the ginormous question mark of existence. 

The purely definitive factor of “art” is that it is MAN-made. Man defines art, art defines man. Chicken and egg. We are the only species that makes it with the intent of sentient composition, for no particular purpose but self-expression. 

Of course this work about Jesus! It’s about that Jesus fresco that ended up looking like a baked potato thanks to an elderly parishioner’s Dunning-Kruger effect! NOT! Joking aside, It’s really a small tribute to Johfra Bosschart’s “Ecce Homo: Behold the Mandragora” + a little Visshudha floating around somewhere.

Here’s to you Johfra!